Dead Space and DiabetesStayed up until 5 a.m. this morning wrapping up hardcore mode in Dead Space 3. I felt like crashing around midnight, so I had to give myself a little caffeine boost...and by little I mean 192 ounces of the stuff.
This is why I am going to die a very early death. At least I'll get to drive a Rascal everywhere when the doctors inevitably cut both my feet off. On the bright side I now have a matching set of platinums for Dead Space. PS3 sucks, I know.
State Academic BowlUp in El Reno today, I participated in my first state tournament for anything. I did shit tons of parkour and continued my reign of terror as the Splenda bandit, stealing 83 packets of the stuff at the restaurant we ate at. Also, our team got fourth place in our division. I think that's pretty good considering I didn't think we would win a single game. Fun Fact: Fourth place medals are made out of poop.
Nerd StuffI like to do all the things the cool kids do, so I naturally joined my high school academic team to meet all the ladies. I failed to meet any bitches or hoes, but we did qualify for the state tournament yesterday. This is my senior year, so it would be awesome if we won the state championship. I would, however, settle for taking home all the groupies that will inevitably show up at the tournament. Either way, I will be very happy when we compete on February 2nd.
The Last Time I Shit MyselfI was in 7th grade. I wasn't feeling particularly well that morning, but my dad was home and I knew he wouldn't let me miss school. Knowing this, I decided I would tough it out and go to school anyway. I walked out the door on my way to begin a three block journey to my educational destination. I got maybe half a block when I started to feel a fire being lit inside me. As soon as I was about to turn back towards my house that fire quickly dispersed in the form of an enormous assplosion. It was the kind of assplosion you experience after you get really bad food poisoning. It didn't matter if I went home or kept on trekking to school, somebody was going to know I shit myself. I decided I would much rather disappoint my father than be known as the guy who walked around school with a nice batch of doo-doo butter sitting in his drawers. I walked back to my house to change myself. "What did you forget?" my dad's face quickly turning into a disgusted scowl as he finished his question. I didn't answer him. I quickly walked into the bathroom and cleaned myself off. My underwear looked like the wrapper of a Hersey Kiss after the chocolate had melted. After I changed I walked out the door as quickly as my tiny feet could carry me. I wasn't going to stick around for my father's discovery of my shit stained underwear. I got to school fifteen minutes after the bell had rang. I strolled into the office to pick up my tardy slip. The secretary looked at me as I was filling it out and asked why I was so late. The only excuse I could think of was the generic response of "I slept through my alarm." It may have been a lame excuse, but it was a million times better than telling her I shit myself. I sauntered into class, handed the teacher my tardy slip and never spoke about the incident to anyone. My dad was not to happy when I got home and thus a new era of him being disappointed and embarrassed by me had begun.
I Hate Family Get-TogethersThe holidays are coming up very soon. We've got Thanksgiving this month and Christmas the next. Like most people I'm not a big fan of my family members. It's not that I hate them, I just find the majority of them very annoying. I'm sure you can relate to this. When I show up to a holiday dinner I immediately start counting down the time until I can leave and go home. The worst part of it is the children that show up. I'm not a big fan of kids so being in close contact with twelve of them for five hours is not exactly something I enjoy. If I had the choice to attend one of these hellish events and shove an umbrella up my ass I would gladly bend over and shove that thing as far as it can go. I can't be the only one who feels this way.
The most retarded person I know......is me, of course. It's triple xp weekend for Red Dead Redemption, so I decided I would get in a few games. I turn on my Playstation, sit back in my chair and stare at the TV screen. The only problem is that the TV screen is black and it isn't changing. I sat angrily in my chair, swearing and trying to figure out what the reason for this atrocity is. Two minutes pass before I identified the reason. I forgot to turn the fucking TV on. I forget simple shit like this all the time. I regularly lose my phone and try to find it by calling it...with my phone. How have I not killed myself yet?
A lot of free timeThis week I'm out of school for fall break which means I have a whole week to myself. I won't just be lounging around with several bags of cheetos watching Scorsese flicks and MLP, though. (I know, I'm a man of extremely varied taste in entertainment.) I have actual "work" I need to do. I need to perfect my dramatic performance for a competitive speech competition I have November 6th. On top of that, there is Performance Art Competition, also know as a "talent show" to you plebeians, at my school next month. This means I'm going to hunker down and write some skits for me and my friends which they will ultimately reject and then help me write much better material. Whether I can do these things depends on how lazy I decide to be. Hopefully I can be like this...