It's getting cold here in the Carolinas and everyone is gearing up for lots of Holiday cheer. But what about AFTER the holidays? What will you do come late January when it is so cold and the day is so grey and life feels so hopeless that you begin to understand how ennui killed poor Neville? Nothing, that's what! You'll probably just lay down and die right there yourself.
Or you can give yourself something to look forward to. Some hope to cling to in your hour of wintry darkness.
I speak of the hope of eating a dozen doughnuts all by yourself. Of crossing the finish line without vomiting while be cheered on by a giant audience of your peers.
I speak, of course, of the Krispy Kreme Challenge. Twelve doughnuts, five miles, one hour. Can we do it? Maybe, maybe not. But oh we can try, my friends. We can try.
So what say you? Shall we form a team and run this together? Shall we experience the comradely of running and eating and running some more (and then maybe puking) side by side as men?
Registration opens December 1st. Who is with me? Seriously guys, I don't want to do this alone.
Thanksgiving PoopsmithIt would not be a holiday if I did not find myself in my best friend's house playing a very one-sided game of hide and go seek with her family's cats. I have this policy, you see. I must get confirmation that the cat is actually alive. Ever since my very early childhood when our down the street neighbors' aged cat literally vomited up the last of it's life in the front seat of our van as we sped in vain to the Vet's, I have ALWAYS gotten confirmation of life. In more recent years this policy has only become more important as the best friend's cats have gotten old, and even gone from two down to one.
I set the act of cat chasing, poop scooping, water and food bowl refilling, and even the occasional vomit removal on par with all other Thanksgiving family traditions. It has been a part of my life longer than the Thanksgiving Bond-a-thon and almost as long as stuffing, mac'n'cheese, pone, and pie. Every year best friend and family take their celebration down east, and every year since teh kittehs came into our lives at the end of elementary school, I have taken care of them.
Throughout the years I have run the gamut of cleaning of kitteh messes and chasing cats around the house. I've chased a cat around the house trying to give it eye drops, coaxed liquid doses of ketteh medicine into a cat, and even diced up pills to hide in pill pockets and food. There have been giant hair balls and lots of cat puke. The thing that remains consistent of course, is the scooping of poop. Thus long ago, after a little online inspiration, I gave myself the honorary title of Poopsmith.
I think now is the time to mention I am NOT a cat person. But each year (or really any time they go out of town), I find myself donning my not so ceremonial title of Poopsmith and I prepare myself for a situation like tonight when I got to scrub the cat vomit off the floor while my confirmation of life sat staring at me on the other end of the room.
And I look at the cute little face of the animal I have helped care for it's entire life. It is a face that will never love me back or even appreciate what I am doing. The feeling of indifference, trust me, is mutual.
However, it is the thing I am most thankful for. I am thankful for a friendship that is so strong that scrubbing cat vomit out of the carpet is just what you do for each other. I am thankful that even though so much has changed since we met in 1st grade, the thing that stays the most constant is our willingness to take care of each other and of the things and people we love the most.
So this Thanksgiving I am sure I can be thankful for many things, but none of it will ever top being a Poopsmith.
It's official!!!My sister is engaged!!! Her boyfriend has been planning the proposal for months, which means I've had to keep this secret for a realllllllllllly long time. But now they are engaged!!! Let's have balloons and a party and stuff!!!
Steven saysThat I like fall because of "fall fashions." He loves to throw this term around. I'm pretty sure he just heard it somewhere back in the later 90's and it is his only clothing term (though I did teach him dark denim and summer weight fabrics).
Here is the problem, he is right. Goddamn it! I love fall. I really do. The colors, the clothes, the holidays, the sports. Did I mention the clothes? Sweaters and scarves and hats and layers, and the cutest work clothes. Tights! Boots! High-waisted cords!
Now that the blue polo era is over at historic sites, I actually get to wear cute work clothes and let me tell you I am reveling in it. Seriously let's just go ahead and hastag FallFashionsHype (I wish that last one was more of a joke, but I am really on the border of work clothes selfies here people).
What do you do......when ALL of your friends are trying to raise money for the same charity? WHO do you donate to? Okay so I guess it's not a bad problem to have. But for serious, what is the social etiquette for donations? $4.00 to everyone?
Really though, good luck to everyone playing for Extra Life today. I am proud of all of you. You are doing a great thing.